“As I Have Loved You”

John 13:31-35

May 15, 2022

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.” (John 13:34, NRSV) 

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35)

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that I don’t think that’s necessarily the first thing that comes to mind these days when people think of “Christians.” I’m not a gambler, but in this case I’d be willing to bet that when people on the street think of “Christians,” their first thought is not very often, “Now those people really know how to love each other…” !!

Sadly, it seems that what’s more often associated with being Christian, at least in the public sphere, is being self-righteous…judgmental…narrow-minded…exclusive…holier-than-thou… prudish…anti-intellect…anti-science…and some might add, anti-fun! There is nothing there that I want to be associated with! And yet here I am, what some might say a professional Christian! 

How did we get from Jesus saying, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” to what I just described?? And perhaps more importantly, how can we get back there??  

We’re going to start by going back to that night, and we’re going to see if that can help us get back to that place. 

SO, it’s important to remember that on that night, Jesus knew his time with the disciples was just about over. They hadn’t seemed to fully grasp that yet–although it was about to get real for them, and quickly! But Jesus knew it. He knew that the window of opportunity for being with them and teaching them about God, about the Kingdom of God, about what it means to live as people of God–that window was just about to close. 

He knew he had taught them many things, and told them many things in his time with them; and he knew that in that time, he had encouraged them, and confused them, and amazed them, and terrified them. He also knew that in his time with them, he had been frustrated by them! And exasperated by them! And at times, disappointed in them. And he knew that within a matter of hours, he would be betrayed by them, all of them… 

But underneath all of that, beyond all of that, above all of that, in the midst of all of that–he knew that he had loved them. 

And he loved them still. Despite his frustration. Despite their confusion. Despite his exasperation. Despite their lack of understanding. Despite his disappointment. Despite their imminent and profound betrayal.

“Having loved his own who were in the world,” it says at the beginning of chapter 13, “he loved them to the end.” (cf. John 13:1b)  

And he didn’t love them as one person loves another–which is to say, generally well-intentioned but incompletely and imperfectly… Jesus didn’t love them as one human loves another–which is to say, in ways that perpetuate the imperfect ways we were loved… Jesus didn’t love them as we, left to our own devices, love one another–which is to say, in ways meant to be helpful but that sometimes are actually harmful…in ways that, out of our own ignorance and lack of understanding and awareness, cause unintentional hurt and suffering, despite our good intentions and our best efforts…

That’s not how Jesus loved his disciples. He loved them as God had loved him. He loved them as he had experienced the love of God. He loved them with God’s love! He loved them fiercely and passionately and relentlessly and unconditionally. He loved them completely, with all of who they were. Even with the parts that were frustrating and disappointing. Perhaps especially with the parts that were frustrating and disappointing–the parts that maybe the disciples themselves were ashamed of, the parts they thought were unacceptable, the parts they maybe tried to hide and ignore and cover up. 

Jesus knew his disciples deeply and completely, including all of those seemingly ugly and shameful parts of them, and still, he loved them. He loved them with the steadfast, unending, undying love of God. They, no less than he, were God’s beloved. And he needed them to know that–he needed to know that they knew that–before his time with them was up.

He needed them to know the depth of their belovedness, because it was only by being convinced of that, that they would be able to continue in his teachings once he was no longer physically with them. 

He needed them to know the depth of their belovedness, because it was only by being convinced of that, that they would be able to stand firm in the face of the suffering he knew they would face. 

He needed them to know the depth of their belovedness, because it was only by being convinced of that, that they would not only be able to continue teaching his teachings in the face of suffering, but that they would be able to continue to step into living more fully in the Way he had shown them…and fail…and try again…and fail again…and return to his Way of being and living and loving again, and again, standing steady not only in the face of external suffering but internal doubt and confusion and shame…

He needed his disciples to know the depth of their belovedness, because it was only in being convinced of that Love that they would be able to truly love one another and witness to that Love in the world.

Jesus needed them to know that they, too, no less than he, were God’s beloved, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Because he wouldn’t be with them, to show them that, much longer. 

SO…while they were all together, on this last night of this particular way of being together, while they were in the middle of eating supper, Jesus “got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet.” (John 13:4-5a)

Their dusty, dirty, sweaty, stinky, calloused, crusty feet. These feet Jesus began to wash. An act of service, yes. Absolutely. And yes, an act of upside-down service. The washing of one’s feet was something a servant was supposed to do; it was something for someone beneath you, someone of a lower status than you, someone you didn’t even really have to think about. Jesus was their master and their teacher, a rabbi, someone they looked up to and respected; he was not their servant, and had no business washing their feet! But he did. 

And in addition to the example of humble service, I continue to wonder if there was something more to it, something more that we can learn from what he did for them in washing their feet…

“You call me teacher and Lord, and you are right, for that is what I am,” he said to them. And then I imagine that he maybe could have gone on to say something like this: “But I need you to know that everything that I’ve tried to teach you about who God is and what God’s Kingdom is about, comes down to Love. All that I’ve told you about how to live as people of God comes down to Love. And now, tonight, there is no more time for teaching or telling. There’s only time for doing and showing. And so I washed your feet.  

“I took the parts of you that are not clean, that are not fit for presentation,” I think Jesus might have been saying, “and I held them with tenderness. I took the parts of you that you’d rather ignore, that you’d prefer to keep hidden, and I washed them with gentleness. I took the parts of you the parts you find embarrassing, the parts you’d like to cover up, the parts of you that bring you shame, and I looked at them–and at you–with love.” 

“Because you, no less than I, are God’s beloved. And I need you to know that. You, with your dirty, stinky, crusty feet, with your secret, hidden, shameful parts, are God’s beloved. You, who have been encouraged and confused and amazed and chagrined and emboldened and terrified by me, are God’s beloved. I need you to know that. You, who have frustrated me to no end with your confusion, disappointed me repeatedly by your lack of understanding, and who are on the verge of denying you’ve even ever known me–I love you, and YOU are God’s beloved! I need you to know that. 

Because it is only in experiencing that depth of love that you will be able to truly love one another. 

Because, it’s only in experiencing that depth of love that you will be able to accept your full humanity, the good, the bad, and the ugly parts, the parts you’re ashamed of and the parts you wish were different, the parts you don’t like and the parts you can’t seem to change. It’s in experiencing that love, for your full self, in full awareness of all of the parts and pieces of yourself, that you will be able, then, to love the full self of another–the good, the bad, and the ugly parts, and the parts of them that are embarrassing, and the parts that are uncomfortable, and the parts that you don’t like, and the parts that feel threatening… It’s in experiencing that love that you will be able acknowledge all of those parts of them with tenderness and gentleness and humility. 

It’s in experiencing this love, and the depth and completeness and unshakeable-ness of this love, that you will be able to truly love one another–and then the world–as I have loved you. 

And so Jesus gave them a new commandment, that they love one another. Just as he had loved them, they also should love one another. (cf. John 13:34b)

As he had loved them…

Which is the same way that he has loved us.

We, too, are God’s beloved, no less than the disciples were, no less than Jesus is. With our dirty, stinky, calloused feet, with our secret, hidden, shameful parts. You and you and you…and me– each of us, all of us, are God’s beloved.

The more we can receive that love, accept that love, experience that love, the more fully, more completely, more better, we will be able to truly and transformatively love one another. 

It’s not easy. It seems like it should be easy. To let ourselves be fully loved. What’s hard about that?? Why wouldn’t we want that? But it’s not easy. It’s not easy because in order to be fully loved, we must be deeply known. And it’s terrifying to let ourselves be deeply known–to let our ugly parts be seen, to acknowledge the parts of us that feel unacceptable and uncomfortable, to show the parts of ourselves we try to desperately to keep hidden… That’s hard!! It’s so risky! It makes us feel so vulnerable. And, it’s what we have to do if we are to allow ourselves to be fully loved. It’s what we have to do in order to fully accept that we are God’s beloved. It’s what we have to do if we are to fully and deeply and transformatively love one another. It’s not easy. In fact, I think it’s probably one of the hardest things we have the opportunity to do in our lifetimes. 

But it’s what makes us real. Really real. It’s what makes love real and true and deep and rich. It’s what gives depth and meaning to life and love. It’s the love that Jesus lived with his disciples, and it’s the love he offers us and the world. It’s God’s love, and it’s not easy. To receive or to give. To accept or to live. But I am convinced that it is the Way to Life. True and deep and rich and everlasting Life. I continue to be convinced that it is worth the effort. And I continue to try, to receive and to give that Love. I continue to try to accept and to live that Love. And I continue to fail. Repeatedly. And sometimes miserably. And I continue to get up and try again. And then again. Because I am convinced that it is worth the effort. And I am convinced that it can change the world. And God, the world needs changing. 

“I give you a new commandment,” Jesus said, “…Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.” (John 13:34, NRSV)  

God, help us.

Amen.